unwedding (roadkill)

i do not covet my neighbor’s wife i do not

eat too much too quickly i do not

have sex that hurts i do not

drink ten gin tonics or cheat at darts

or in general i do not 

call engagements off over text i do not

have a body that breaks 

or a Goodness that falters i do not 

yell even though whispering works i do not

notice how everything changes and

i do not grieve it i do not 

wake from a deep, everlasting sleep 

just to drink gin tonics i do not

mourn those who came before you i do not 

write them letters or search 

for them against the crookedness of your jaw and

between the gaps in your teeth i do not 

confuse endurance with care

or selflessness with rugs

walked upon i do not look down 

or up or back i do not

swallow fleeting things 

to preserve them i do not 

sew sorrows to my skin i do not let them

catch me like thorns i do not

wear the wounds like medals i do not

think about getting even i do not 

suck your knuckle until it bleeds i do not

confuse tenderness for love i do not 

ask again if you still feel it about me i do not

find peace in suffering i do not

find my Self in suffering i do not

wait and wait and wait and wait around 

and find some new addiction 

to replace the gin tonics i do not 

proudly tell other people’s secrets 

or hate other people’s boyfriends

because they remind me of myself i do not

mutilate myself or you or us in the name of poetry 

or just because i do not

put my shovel down i dig 

and dig and dig and dig